I want to write about this more, adding my own thoughts, but for now I'm posting this quote because it's wonderful and I need to keep it as a "starter' yeast for my thoughts on the subject.
"Forgiving does not mean condoning insensitive or abusive behavior, or trusting thse who are not trustworthy. Forgiving is something you do *for yourself* (emphasis mine. pj) to find peace; it dissolves anger like an anticid (isn't that a great analogy!?? pj) It is a way of looking at others as being unable to love and cherish you in the ways you needed. You forgive the person, not the act. Those who ask and receive forgiveness from others, from God, and from themselves become able to to live their days with greater freedom than ever before. Forgiveness sets your spirit free." Kay Talbot, Ph D. in "Preparing To Die Well"